it’s my last morning in this house, in this sunny filled room. I have been renting here since June of 2019. after first being based in Dallas, Tx for my first 6 months I needed to go back to a place that was familiar a place that I could more easily cope with this job. after the first 3 months I had gotten into a slight dark place. after a couple big mechanical issues and a major medical issue with a passenger I wasn’t coping well. I had started drinking more on work trips to not deal with some of those fears and anxieties I was having. So I had finally decided to put in my bid for Salt Lake and thankfully I had gotten the selection right off the bat.

My first time meeting Austin and looking at the house we hit it off instantly and I knew this was right where I needed to be. I moved in a couple weeks later with just a couple suitcases. the first week I slept either on the couch or on a air-mattress until the mattress I had order was delivered. this room was rather bare until the spring of 2020 when I decided to finally add to it. in the past two and half years I have accumulated more than I thought I had. After wondering, and moving and moving I had finally stuck somewhere long enough to ‘nest’ and create a little space for myself.

Austin, Victoria and I had our last girls night in as roommates on Sunday. We had a blast drinking wine, talking and playing Qwirkle and there was some sentimental moments. We three have all agreed that this short time all together in this space was good for all of us but also exciting at the same time for the pushes we all needed for the next season of our lives.

I started moving some of my items next door to my new little basement apartment yesterday and I was excited and looking forward to it, a bit overwhelmed, a bit sad a bit of everything. rather than pushing myself to finish everything I stopped around 5, realized I needed to eat food and to take the rest of the night to compose myself. There always seems to be so many emotions that start to pop up during those transition periods, sometimes its best to just take a moment or two to take a deep breath before getting back to it.

it is also now February which is now the month of love or so they say and we should start seeing the first push of those tulip stems at the end of the month. I am just going to call it the month of beginnings.

and so I should now getting ready for the day, move the last of what I have in this room, wash the walls and floors and say goodbye to say hello.

with love,

jess